


Stay

by aurawinterrain



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Iwaizumi Hajime is Bad at Feelings, KPop AU, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:02:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29308482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurawinterrain/pseuds/aurawinterrain
Summary: 'When you make eye contactI'll be right next to youWe can go together,Everywhere'-In an industry where everyone has their gaze on your every move, it was hard to maintain a good image, much less hide a relationship. That's why they were told from the very start of their career before they even debuted, that dating anyone else wasn't advised. But falling in love with Oikawa was so /easy/, so you really couldn't blame Iwaizumi when he realised that he had fallen for the brunette. Now, he was faced with the decision between keeping their career afloat and confessing his feelings, and he doesn't know what to do.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5
Collections: Iwaoi Server Valentine Exchange 2021





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Minitsuri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minitsuri/gifts).



Falling in love with Oikawa wasn’t a ‘love at first sight’ affair. He was attractive - that’s why he’s the visual of their group, after all, but Iwaizumi wasn’t one to care for looks. It was a slow process, built upon multiple moments shared together. It was so gradual, Iwaizumi didn’t even realise he was falling before he was in too deep. Looking back at it, perhaps it wasn’t such a surprise that they ended up together. They always had some sort of synergy after all, right from the start. 

Iwaizumi mentally did a headcount as he walked into the dorm, trying to locate the rest of his members. It wasn’t really his job to make sure they were all accounted for, but he  _ was _ the oldest member, after all, so he felt a sense of responsibility towards the others. Hanamaki and Matsukawa were goofing around in their dorm, Kindaichi was gaming while Kunimi was already in bed. Kyotani and Yahaba were still in their practice room, going over their choreography, so that left Oikawa. He sighed, reaching for his phone to shoot the brunette a text. 

**To: Shittykawa [23:46]**

Oi, where are you? Still in the studio? Did you even eat dinner?

**From: Shittykawa [23:51]**

Been stuck in here since we finished dance practice >w< Our songs don’t write themselves, Iwa-chan! I’ll eat something later. 

**To: Shittykawa [23:54]**

What do you mean later? It’s midnight, dumbass. 

**From: Shittykawa [23:55]**

I’ll have ramen when I go back to the dorms. Are the rest of them sleeping? 

**To: Shittykawa [23:57]**

Kunimi’s already out. Mattsun and Makki have gone quiet so I assume they’re going to sleep. Kindaichi usually konks out around this time too. Kyotani and Yahaba should be back from their dance practice soon. Do you want me to wait up? 

**From: Shittykawa [00:02]**

It’s fine~ I’m done here. I promise I’ll eat when I’m back. Goodnight, Iwa-chan <3 

Despite the reassurances from Oikawa that he would eat, and he wouldn’t come back  _ that  _ late, Iwaizumi couldn’t help but worry. He grumbled as he fished the kimchi out from the fridge and popped some instant rice into the microwave. Kimchi fried rice was the easiest meal he could whip up, and it was also much more nutritious than just ramen. Right as he turned the stove off, the front door clicked open.

“Mm~ It smells so good.” Oikawa bounded over to the kitchen, a small grin on his face when he saw who was leaning against the counter, plating his supper. 

“Don’t ruin your body with too much ramen, instant food is bad for your body. You’re an idol, you know?” Iwaizumi mumbled, passing the plate over to the Oikawa, who was salivating just looking at the food. The latter reached over, but before he took it, he pressed a small kiss on Iwaizumi’s cheeks. 

“Thank you, Iwa-chan! You’re the best.” 

It wasn’t the first time Oikawa had kissed his cheeks - they were idols after all, and this was a common punishment that they had encountered on variety shows. Oikawa was also naturally touchy, almost always falling asleep on someone’s lap while they were waiting backstage. This was just him trying to show his gratitude, and Iwaizumi probably shouldn’t read too much into it, so why was the spot where Oikawa’s lips grazed his cheek burning even as he tucked himself into bed? 

Taking care of Oikawa wasn’t anything new - they had long established that relationship back when they were trainees. He would often find Oikawa up at ungodly hours in the morning, working on melodies in their studio. These were often fueld by pent up emotions, since Oikawa would turn to music to vent his feelings. On days where things got too much, Iwaizumi would slowly inch into the room, encouraging the brunette to volcalise his thoughts instead of keeping them bottled up. After they were done, it was usually in the wee hours of the morning, so they both turned up to practice with dark circles under their eyes. Yet, seeing Oikawa smile genuinely for the first time in day always made him feel like everything was worth it. 

In a way, he felt like his life would be somewhat incompletely without Oikawa by his side. They were always so attuned to each others feelings, but recently, it felt like something has shifted, or maybe something had changed in their dynamics. Fans were picking up on it too, scrutinising their interactions on stage and even on their social media. 

At first, Iwaizumi wasn’t sure what had changed. He was still always yelling at Oikawa to take care of himself more, always checking in on the brunette to make sure he wasn’t burning himself out. It wasn’t until they finally tried out the dance for their new title track, one where they had a beautiful choreography together during the bridge of the dance, did he realise what caused the shift. Oikawa was sweaty and bare-faced, eyes trained intensely on Iwaizumi as they circled each other almost in a predatory way. When the music shifted, Iwaizumi found it hard for him to pull his gaze away and fall into step with the rest of the members, Oikawa’s face imprinted into the back of his mind like an insignia. 

It didn’t matter how many times they practised that part, whenever he had to face Oikawa, he felt his heart skip a beat, and it suddenly felt a hundred degrees hotter in the practice room. As they were monitoring their performance, Iwaizumi finally noticed how he had been looking at Oikawa this whole time - like a love-sick puppy. It was as clear as day how his eyes softened when they locked gazes, and a hint of a small smile could be seen. 

That night, he went to bed early after accounting for the rest of the members, making sure that he was alone before checking his phone. A few keywords, and his screen lit up with the expected results. There were tons of videos and pictures of him and Oikawa, capturing how his fingers always instinctively curved around the other when they held hands, and how his touch would linger on Oikawa’s waist longer than necessary. Some of them blew innocent interactions out of proportion, but there were a good few of them that actually picked up on moments that even Iwaizumi himself was blissfully unaware of. 

‘I want a man that looks at me the way Iwaizumi looks at Oikawa,’ with a picture of him staring at Oikawa when they stepped up to receive their first daesang. There were unshed tears glittering in the light, but he wore the proudest smile on his face as Oikawa leaned forward towards the microphone to thank their fans.

Their first daesang was unexpected, to say the least. They already had a sizable following then, but compared to the other groups on stage, they were easily outnumbered. Yet, when they were nominated for ‘Song of The Year’, with the song that Oikawa had spent countless of sleepless nights working on, he couldn’t help but hope that they would win. The shock on their faces when they were announced at the winner showed just how unexpected the win was, and Iwaizumi’s first instinct was to pull Oikawa into a bone-crushing hug. 

“You did it,” he whispered softly, but Oikawa looked up at him with a bright smile, tears already falling. 

“No,  _ we _ did it, Iwa-chan.” 

Was he already in love with him then? 

Iwaizumi clicked away from the photo, setting his device on the table as he sank back down into bed. Now that he was aware of his feelings, he only felt more suffocated. The industry wasn’t accepting of relationships in general, much less same-sex relationships. Besides, they were just starting out, he couldn’t jeopardise  _ everyone’s  _ hopes and dreams just for his selfish desire. So that night, as he slipped into the dark recesses of sleep, he promised to tuck his feelings into a chest, to pretend that they never existed. 

The only way he could think of suppressing his emotions towards the brunette was by pulling away - and that was exactly what he did. He still reached out to Oikawa if he could feel him spiralling, but there was no more 3am talks, no more staying up just to cook for him, no more cuddling him after a nightmare. For a bit, it worked. He felt like he could breathe, a small reprieve from the constant thoughts of Oikawa. 

Then, everything came spiralling down when their next comeback was scheduled. 

The producers were called in first, to think up of concepts for their new tracks. The first few days were usually smooth sailing, they would discuss ideas over their meals, before splitting up for individual practices. But this time, Oikawa didn’t turn up for lunch, nor did he turn up for dinner. 

“Oikawa’s been in his studio the whole day.” Hanamaki commented, glancing at Iwaizumi briefly as he lifted his spoon to his lips.

“We should check in on him, he’s been in there the whole day.” Kindaichi added on, and now the whole table was looking at him. Iwaizumi blinked, staring down at his bowl of rice. They were right, someone needed to check in on their leader to make sure that he was actually putting something in his system. That doesn’t mean that it had to be him, though. Any member could easily just pack up dinner and head over to the studio-

Before he even knew what he was doing, he was getting out of his seat, almost as though his body was on autopilot. He grabbed the containers from the cabinet, already familiar with the process of packing up the extra food for Oikawa. So much for putting distance between the both of them - it wasn’t going to work in the long term, anyway. Ever since their debut, the members knew and respected the small bubble that the two of them had built around themselves. If Oikawa was being exceptionally harsh on himself, it was up to Iwaizumi to build him up again. If Iwaizumi was feeling burnt out, it was Oikawa’s turn to return the favour and take care of him. So he should have known that pulling away wouldn’t have been a wise decision.

“Dinner’s here,” He announced as he unlocked the door to Oikawa’s studio, placing the containers on the small table. 

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa’s voice sounded soft, almost vulnerable, as he turned around to face Iwaizumi. “I thought you weren’t going to come, since you’ve been avoiding me lately… I thought I did something to make you mad, so I tried to self reflect. I didn’t manage to come up with anything, then the comeback hit, and I decided to bury myself with work but I’m unable to come up with anything,” Oikawa bit back a sob, and Iwaizumi’s heart broke. 

“I’m sorry if I made you mad, you know I’m always doing stupid things and I didn’t mean to.” Before Oikawa could ramble on, Iwaizumi had crossed the space between them in three big strides, gently pulling Oikawa into a hug. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, this is all my fault. It’s all on me, ok? You don’t have to blame yourself for anything. I was being stupid, for once. So please don’t beat yourself up over nothing, hm? As for the tracks… inspiration will come on it’s own, so it’s probably time to take a little break.” 

OIkawa let out a soft hum, burying his head into Iwaizumi’s chest. 

“Iwa-chan.”

“Hm?”

“I love you.” 

There was a few beats of silence, then Iwaizumi pulled away with a soft sigh. 

“I love you too. But this… whatever we have between us, it can’t ever be anything concrete. Whatever we’re doing is constantly being scruntinised by the media, or by our fans. We have the most wonderful fanbase, though the fact is that we’re  _ idols. _ We can’t let our stupid feelings cost us our career.” 

“I know,” Oikawa sounded so broken, almost as though he had been expecting this answer. “But you can’t just ask me to ignore whatever I’m feeling. You always told me to not keep my thoughts bottled up, but the one thing that I really want to do - which is to love you - I can’t. And it’s tearing me apart.” Another tear slid down his milky white skin, and Iwaizumi rubbed it away with his thumb. 

He let out a shaky breath, already calculating the costs and benefits of the situation. Keeping it a secret wouldn’t be hard - they were already acting like a married couple at times. They didn’t need to go on actual “dates” like a normal couple, variety shows often sponsored their trips overseas and they could probably sneak a few hours to themselves. Now that he was actually thinking about it, nothing would actually change between them.

“We’ll just have to be really careful,” he said softly, meeting Oikawa’s imploring gaze. “The members would probably be cool with it, but I’m not so sure about our management. The tabloid would go crazy with this piece of information too, but-”

“If we’re really careful, we can make it work.” Oikawa completed his thought, a small smile now on his face.

“And we will, we’ll make it work.” At that, almost all of Iwaizumi’s doubts melted away, and he leaned in to give Oikawa a small kiss. 

“We will make it work, and we’ll climb to the top of the charts. Together.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I tried my best at the angst but it's so hard to write angst with Iwaoi T^T I hope this was at least enjoyable to read because I really wanted to write Iwaizumi pining for some reason XD.


End file.
